By Cycling Dad:
Alpecin, purveyor of male-oriented hair care products, has teamed up with Roadbike Magazine to assemble a team of hobby athletes for the 2013 Ötztaler Cycle Marathon.
As a regular visitor to the Cycling Parents Blog, I am sure that you are aware that this coincides with my season’s goal and social fundraiser for 2013.
When I first hit the Team Alpecin website, I was instantly blown off the saddle.
I’ll keep it short and relevant – this is what you get if you are among the chosen few:
And here’s the slightly longer list of goodies:
TEAM ALPECIN EQUIPMENT
• Specialized S-Works Venge**
• Lightweight Meilenstein Wheelset**
• Campagnolo Record Groupset**
• Rotor Crankset**
• Schwalbe Tires
• Seat Position Analysis by Specialized
• Team Clothing by Assos
• Helmet and Glasses by Uvex
• Specialized S-Works-Shoes
• Casual Clothing by Engelhorn Sports
• Squeezy-Nutrition Package
• Polar Cycling Computer**
• Tools by Specialized
• Muscle Stimulator by Compex**
• Training Camp in Mallorca at Robinson-Club Cala Serena*
• Performance Diagnostics by das Radlabor*
• Personal Coaching by das Radlabor
• Complete Race-Weekend with a starting position at the Ötztaler Cycle Marathon*
• Starting Places for Preparation Races*
* excl. traveling cost
** borrowed during time of team affiliation with privileged purchase option
Okay, let’s take a deep breath and regain our composure. What do you have to do to get in? Sell your soul? Wash your hair twice daily with Alpecin? The answer is yes.
On top you have to fill out this questionnaire and pray daily to be selected on some ominous internal selection criteria. Would you qualify as a middle-aged, overambitious but slightly under-skilled Austrian-based blog scribe? I don’t know, but I am determined to find out. The application period ends February 20th.
One thing I do know since today is my personal baldness age, thanks to Alpecin’s baldness calculator. It turned out my personal baldness age is 43. Luckily I still have a few (albeit not many) years left and Alpecin is here to help. Is this a good or bad indication for my application? My son Konstantin will turn one soon and there’s still not much hair up on his head. Again my humble question is will this affect my application to Team Alpecin?
So, I hereby extend a gesture of friendship towards Team Alpecin and gladly offer my service in the equipe. Remember, either you’re with me or you’re against me. It is up to you, Team Alpecin, to pick the sides.